Time, like language, is our way of bringing order, control, and meaning to what is. I feel stuck in the middle of time and language right now. A part of me wants to bring language around all that has happened within and without me last year, but another part of me is content to just stay right here, right now… to just feel, just be, just live, without any explanation or insight.
I recently had a dream that ended with a deep recognition. The majority of my dream was mostly about a sort of battle I found myself fighting. Though the battle ended with me as conqueror, the dream didn’t end until a silent moment. In this silent moment, I looked in the face of a forgotten woman, remembered her, and recognized her for who she really was. Her face morphed and her true face was shown. We shook hands and in that moment I felt completion, as though the battle itself was not the true quest. I realized that it was this moment that I was working toward the whole time.
As I’ve reflected on this dream, I think this moment of recognition had to do with a return to my true self. The forgotten woman represented the wisdom that resides within me at all times. At some point I lost my ability to recognize her, but with this final moment of the dream I now know that this is no longer the case.
I can’t help but wonder about the timing of this dream. It has been a journey of a year, to say the least. In fact, some points of this year could be described as a battle. I’ve gone through some particular experiences that I have never – ever – experienced before. I have been stressed, anxious, distracted, depressed, and exhausted. But I have grown. I have also been showered with affirming, inspiring, supportive, and influential people and experiences. Through it all I have been searching to find myself. I had to face the ways I had been living in denial and speak truth. I embraced my weakness and celebrated my strength. I am so thankful to be looking ahead to the new year with a renewed connection to myself.
Dreams do not last as long as they may feel and dreams are often very hard to put into words. Time and language play with each other in an extremely unique way. The amount of time in a dream seems less important than the amount of time we have in a given day. In dreams, our mind seems to prefer a language of images, colors, and emotion over words.
Dreams are an opportunity for us to listen to a message not bound by time. What messages await you in the new year? What do you need to hear and know? What new language do you need to learn so you can listen? Music? Play? Art? Nature? Or maybe even the language of time? I wish us all a year of recognition, truth, and understanding in whatever language we may find it.